As many know, I have an intense hatred for Charlie the Tuna. Why you ask? Simply put, he's a sellout to his own kind. Let's examine:
Job: Charlie the tuna sells tuna, HIS OWN KIND! I don't sell humans, because that would be cannibalism. The least he could do would be to sell out some other kind of animal or preferably a plant. See: the bumblebee on Bumblebee tuna selling tuna, not bees. And the chicken of the sea Mermaid following suit. For less predatory selling: Tony the tiger, the Trix Rabbit, Tucan Sam, the Golden Grahams bear, and the Quisp thing all selling cereal, and the Vlasic Stork selling pickles.
General Appearance: Charlie lives out of water, as seen in the current wave of MasterCard commercials that depict him doing dishes at a corporate mascot dinner party. Charlie also wears a hat with his name on it, and somehow has a good enough vision plan to afford glasses. Where did he get all the money?
From selling his people out.
KC
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